


The Nacho Fic

by hoedogg



Category: Phandom
Genre: I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, M/M, PINOF, This Is STUPID
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-04 01:43:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5315519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hoedogg/pseuds/hoedogg
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I’m just so dry and crusty,” Dan breathed, already undoing his pants and reaching for the bottle of lube and condoms from Phil’s bedside table. Phil’s eyes dilate at the sound of his voice. Dan rolls the condom on his crunchy length and begins to prep Phil. “And until I can just get inside you and submerge myself in your red juices -” Dan rambles.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Nacho Fic

**Author's Note:**

> This is basically Dan and Phil when they were impersonating a nacho and salsa having sex. This is in no way a serious fic. Have fun!

Dan the nacho walked into Phil the salsa’s room, blushing deeply. He was bored in his own room and his mind began to wander to Phil and how beautifully red he was and how much he wanted to get the salsa’s crimson liquids all over himself. A wandering mind led to wandering hands and before he even knew what he was doing, he had gotten up and made his way to Phil’s room to seek relief. Phil was sitting on his bed and looked up at Dan when he heard him enter the dimly lit room. As soon as Phil saw the state Dan was in, his eyes widened. Dan walked over to Phil’s bed swiftly and threw himself onto the delicious-looking salsa.

Phil gave him a confused but no doubt aroused look.

“I’m just so dry and crusty,” Dan breathed, already undoing his pants and reaching for the bottle of lube and condoms from Phil’s bedside table. Phil’s eyes dilate at the sound of his voice. Dan rolls the condom on his crunchy length and begins to prep Phil. “And until I can just get inside you and submerge myself in your red juices -” Dan rambles.

“Dip me,” Phil pants. “Dip me.”

Dan takes that as a sign that he’s ready.

“I can’t,” Dan says as he penetrates slowly and practically howls. He’s always wanted to feel Phil’s cold, wet juices on him. Now that he finally does, he knows it’s better than any fantasy he’s ever had. After some time his thrusts get more and more wild.

“Dip!” Phil yells out as Dan continues moaning. “Dip!”

Phil’s juices and some little chunks of veggies spray all over his and Dan’s stomachs. Not long after that, Dan comes too. Dan’s nacho legs give out under him and he nearly falls onto Phil, but catches himself with his arm before he can do so. They both lie on Phil’s bed, looking deep into each other’s eyes as they bask in the afterglow of their orgasms. As they come off their high, Dan places a small kiss on Phil’s lips before cleaning up. Then he crawls back into Phil’s bed and the nacho and salsa fall asleep holding each other.

 


End file.
